This last week, at our home church in Alabama, there was a Casting Crowns concert.  My Facebook feed was dotted with posts from the concert.  Many of them included a particular song..."Thrive".  I realized that I had been listening to it a lot too....but Saturday I decided to really listen to it-Not just sing words out in to the air....but to let the lyrics penetrate my heart.   And they did just that.
 Every Sunday at ten, we have a special prayer time before the service.  We take prayer requests, we pray for our church, we pray for each other and we just stand together and hand it all over to God and say-Here God.  We want you to have these.  We would rather put all these requests and hopes and fears in your hands than any where else.  It never fails, every Sunday, I rush over and struggle to get my head and heart in the right place.....and then God moves in.  He ALWAYS meets me where I am.  But, every Sunday, with heads bowed...in a dark and quiet church....holding hands with my Moldovan family....I feel Him in the most tangible way....when I am calling out to Him to pour His spirit out on our church....He does just that....He pours it out....and I FEEL IT!  When I cry out to Him in authenticity right where I am....He is there.  He knows when my heart and my spirit are genuinely seeking Him.  Friends, I wish I could bottle up that feeling and ship it to you...I would send it along with a postcard from Moldova....and you would open it up and be flooded with His love and you would want to stay in that moment forever.  Ahh....when you are truly aware of His love being poured out on you...it is good stuff.  It pushes me beyond just living..just surviving.
  This Sunday I was responsible for leading our service (just MCing).  I had spent the previous day listening to Thrive and I couldn't shake it and felt like I needed to share it with our church....a church full of young people longing to know Him more.  I decided I MUST share the lyrics to the song.  Here they are in English (And Romanian):

Perhaps that beautiful line in Oceans should read...Where feet are GOING to fail....and it will probably be in a big way where you may think its the end of the world but it really isn't...but in that moment it is going to seem big big big. Yeah.  If you don't relate to failure, that's cool.  Failure is the amazingly humbling encounter with your very human self.  It often times occurs when you think you can do something "all by yourself".  One thing I am learning (very slowly, I might add) is that I cannot do things "all by myself".  My strong-willed heart (I blame my tough granny-Wilma Walmart for my Rosie the Rivetoresque attitude) wants so badly to do it all...and to do it all by myself.  Not to burden others with my needs.  It seems that it makes you stronger if you can accomplish things alone...without needing others...but y'all that is a lie!  When we think we can do things all alone...we don't lean in to God....we rob our nearest and dearest of being a part of our lives...when we do it ourselves.....we rob ourselves of the joys of leaning on others.  It is not a sign of weakness to lean in to God to accomplish EVERY. SINGLE. TASK on this earth.  He wants us to do that...He made us to be inseparable from Him.  We need Him.  If we want something done right...and with the right heart....WE NEED HIM.  I know this isn't an AHA! moment for some of you like it is for me.  And I know that this lesson will take years to sink in to my very thick skull...but this is big news and I pray that God and I can keep talking about this and that I can be OK with weakness....because when I am weak....He is strongest.  When I let go of the wheel...and let Him drive....the destination and the journey are both so much more enjoyable.

Friends....I know it is Valentines Day weekend....but I am still thinking about Christmas Cards.  One of my most favorite experiences of the Christmas season (other than spending it with my most favorite Moldovan Family) was receiving Christmas Cards.
If you are reading my blog, you know me- we may have gone to church together, worked together, or grew up together or something like that.   Well, you probably know that I love mail.  I mean I have always found it to be pretty thrilling to check the mailbox each day in hopes that there is something waiting for me....something with an envelope and my name written in ink pen, marker, pencil, or even crayon.  Something that was picked out just for me....something that someone took the time to write my name on and personalize.  It just makes me feel so special!  Every time I used to check the mailbox, I would have little flutters in my stomach and wonder....will today be the day that I get mail?  I know its silly.  Honestly, I didn't get personal mail that often...but, I always held out hope:)  I love ripping in to an envelope to find a funny card from a friend, or a note of encouragement, or a birthday invitation, or a birth announcement, or the big one....a CHRISTMAS CARD.  I have always loved checking our mailbox at Christmas....it is like mail JACKPOT time.  I always come rushing in with a big smile and a loud voice.... "BRIAN--- we have REAL mail!!!!".  Mail from a real person...not a machine or company wanting me to buy what their selling...but real mail.  When I open a card, I feel like that person is right there with me...I imagine them picking the card or invitation or whatever out and writing every name ...I can just feel the time and love they put in to it.  It is a good feeling.
We moved here in July, and until December we really had not received any mail.  Five Months without mail for someone like me seems like five years without mail.  Seriously.  Don't judge...it is just 100% my love language (after hugs of course).  I had resigned myself to the fact that we probablly wouldn't receive any Christmas cards this year because people would have to get a different, more expensive stamp and that would be out of their routine...and I was ok with that.  But, I was longing for at least one Christmas card. The first three weeks of December were mail-less.  I had decided that it was OK.  Some people never receive any mail....I had experienced a life full of mail...and this would just be a mail-less season....Don't laugh...that really happened in my head.  Mail is BIG.  OK? 
But, then...then the week before Christmas rolled in and with it came my new favorite little old guy. No-not Santa...our very old and very kind Russian mail man.  The week before Christmas he filled our little mailbox with six Christmas cards.  SIX!  It was so exciting...they were from new friends in England and the US and Brian's parents. It was pure joy for me!!  The week of Christmas was amazing--one of our sweet guests from Pennsylvania told her church how much I loved mail...and she had her friends and family send us Christmas Cards too!  Then the jackpot came....the coveted Christmas Family photo cards started arriving from friends and family in Alabama.  It was such sheer joy for me...several times I didn't even wait for Brian to open them...I was  like a child on Christmas morning.  I'm pretty sure my momma asked our family to send cards and handed out our address.  I loved it.  I loved it soo much...I felt like I was surrounded by every single sender-friends, family, and people who were praying for us.  They were all here. Our little kitchen door frame had every single card that we received taped to it (with Moldovan tape....so they fell a lot).  It was amazing...what was even better is that we received Christmas cards until February.  Some of them took three weeks to arrive...some took six.  Mail is interesting here...but it made each card even sweeter.  Every single sender...every single person....felt like a precious gift.  I treasured them.  They are all tucked away now, (all of them except the ones we received last week...I'm still enjoying them) but I will never EVER forget our first Christmas here and how God used so many people to encourage us and show us love through mail.  He used the postal service to remind us how very special He thinks we are....even if we had experienced a mail-less Christmas....He still loves us...and He still shows us that every single day in the beautiful faces of the girls and guys here.

I am sitting at my computer looking out on a grey and dreary day here in Moldova.  The snow has melted and left a damp cold in its place.  Spring is no where to be found...it is just now February 2nd.  I don't think there are ground hogs predicting the seasons here in Moldova.  That does not sound like something a former soviet republic would do.  It would be easy to fall prey to the greys...the sunless days....but, my hope does not lie in the sun...or the warmth....but in THE SON.  So, even though outside may be dreary and cold...I have hope.  I know spring will come budding with expectation and possibilities and new life.  And honestly, even the cold parts of the winter have been filled with overwhelming joy.  So much joy that I have not had a chance to write about it since November.

Life has been a whirlwind of excitement.  And while we are both a little tired, we are filled to the brim with all the amazing things God has shown us.  During the months of December and January, we celebrated Christmas with our friends here in Moldova in many different ways.  Christmas Day was beautiful.  Our friend from England's family was here visiting and they started our day off with a full English breakfast, we then spent the rest of the day baking hundreds of baked goods for our Christmas Day celebration.  And OH was it a celebration!!!  There were dramas that made me laugh so hard, there was delicious food and there was family.  It wasn't the family that either of us was born into...but it was the family that God has chosen for us here...and people, that is good!

 When January arrived, so did guests and our container from America (which held all the gifts for different orphanages, and for our girls and guys-there was a LOT of excitement surrounding it).  We celebrated Christmas again with our girls and guys on January 9th.  It was amazing!!!  They had so much fun.  After a few years of being on the other side of the Christmas gift process (helping in the U.S.), it was our very first time to see them open their gifts.  Yes, people, I cried.  But, I think I played it pretty cool.  It was the best Christmas present I think I could have ever received.  I really think our hearts were exploding with emotion.  It was amazing.  There will never ever be words for me to describe most of the things I experience here , both good and bad.  But, God is always in the middle of it...magnifying it....and using it all for His glory!

After our exciting Christmas here, we then proceeded to go visit several other "orphanages".  Our girls and guys truly shared the love of Christ and the joy that is Christmas with children who are growing up very similarly to the way they grew up.  They prepared dramas and music and just shared so much joy.  It was beautiful to see.  Our girls and guys loved every single minute of it.  The most touching moment for all of us was when our dear Ulizana returned to the hospital where she had grown up.  You can read more about it here.  Ulizana is one of the most amazing young women I know.  She loves Jesus so much and she loves serving Him.  Her life in the hospital was very difficult...but she desired to go back to visit the place and bring the love of Jesus with her.  It was a blessing to watch her through this process.  She found out the number of the hospital and contacted the director and petitioned for a visit.  She then asked us every single day if we could go visit and if we had enough gifts to take to the children there.  Of course, we did!  Watching her walk through the doors with her held high, confident in who she is in Christ was so moving.  It took my breath away.  It was just as beautiful to watch her speak with her former "care" givers with kindness, grace,  and love.  This girl is already doing mighty things for the kingdom of God.

These are just a few of the highlights of our December and January, in the midst of all the really big amazing moments....there were plenty of amazing behind the scenes, quiter moments.  Moments where God confirmed our calling here...moments that were spent praying with our friends and family here, doing homework with the guys, laughing at Christmas movies, wearing silly Christmas sweaters, and just resting in His arms.  Yes, it is grey outside today...but my heart is warm with the memories of my first Christmas away from home...a Christmas that I thought would be sad ...but that God filled to the brim with joy and love and reminded me what praising Him everyday really looks like.

Tonight I had the complete privilege of starting our two month (or so) Bible Study on Love.   I have been researching and studying and we have been so busy lately, and I just felt grumpy tonight when I came home to do my last minute preparations.  My sweet, patient, and kind husband (the BETTER half of Team Jones), could see my frustrations and quietly sat down at the table with me and opened his Bible.  I was looking through my notes and laughing (rather sardonically) at God for the topic that He chose for this week-when, at that moment I was quite "unlovable".  You know when you just want to be mad about something.  Like you are grumpy and you just need to be grumpy?  That is where I was.  Then I began reviewing my notes of what love is (as defined in 1 Corinthians 13 and others).  My tense shoulders started loosening.  Brian wrote down a few verses and notes for me to consider adding to the Bible Study tonight...and I felt my grumpiness melting away (sure...five minutes before I was holding on to the grumpiness with all that I had).  But, Then I looked across the table at my man epitomizing what Paul says love is.  He was being patient....and kind...and unselfish.  He was loving me even when I was really being quite a stinker!  My heart melted and the verses Brian chose for me were just beautiful additions.  One of the verses was from Song of Songs 8:6-7.  On the page he handed me, his lefty chicken scratch said: " These verses were written about a young couple in love...but it is an allegory (it mirrors)God's never ending relentless love for us".  I love that man, y'all.  These verses got me so excited about Bible Study.  I reviewed the plan with Brian and I just couldn't WAIT to get to Bible Study with our girls.  I was busting at the seams to share what God had revealed to me.
  In Bible Study, we talked about what we think love is and what true love is and how the world changes our view of love.....then we looked to God's instruction book for our lives.  I know you have probably heard 1 Corinthians 13 at more weddings than you can imagine (we had those verses read at our wedding as well), but tonight it hit me.  These verses aren't just about marital love...they are about the loving "others" that He COMMANDS us to do.  God expects us to be patient, kind, not jealous, not boastful, not proud or arrogant,  to endure even in the uncomfortable times, and to chose love.  He expects us to behave that way with OTHERS.  Not just those in our immediate circle.  Yes, these verses are important for marriage...but they are important for all relationships.  You probably already "got" that message....but it hit me tonight.  After sharing scripture and discussing the attributes of love according to God, and how much God loves us and that His love is the blueprint for how we should love others.  I ended with the verses from Song of Songs 8:6-7...this is how my Bible(NLT) reads:

This morning as I was walking down the dusty gray dirt road to our big van, my ears were filled with the sounds of dogs barking, cows bellowing, roosters crowing and chickens clucking their morning greetings.  These sounds are part of my life every day, the sound of gravel crunching, dust settling, and creaky iron gates opening mix with the sounds of animals and make for a beautiful symphony of country living.  When I look out of my window, I see herds of cows and goats and a beautiful walnut orchard.  All of these sights and sounds blend  and just overwhelm me sometimes.  Who am I that God thinks I belong here....working in this beautiful country with these beautiful people?  Who am I that God thinks I am capable and competent enough to be a part of the lives of some of the most amazing young people in the world?   When I look at the smiles and laughing eyes of our girls and guys here...God just stops my heart.  He just overwhelms me with how amazing He is.  When I am with  our guys and girls, I  feel like my heart might literally burst with all the love I have for them.  They are so amazing...and God chose me and Brian to be here.  Of all the people in the world, God chose us.  I am rambling, but God just overwhelms me with His love and goodness sometimes. I pray that my ears and eyes never tire of the beautiful sounds and sights of our bucolic surroundings...I pray that they never become so common that I take the beauty for granted. I pray that my heart always feels overwhelmed with love....and that I never ever forget the miracle that is the lives of my family here.