Yesterday....after a long, tiring, yet rejuvenating  day trip to Iasi, Romania. I, for the first time in months, felt like I could truly reflect on all of the beauty God has placed in my life....I had gotten so busy and stressed with the day to day....that I forgot to soak up every moment.  I forgot to slow my mind and my heart down and truly embrace the here and now....that God is giving me....every single moment is a here and now.  It was like for just a moment, the film was removed from my eyes and I could see the ethereal beauty of His creation all around me....and my heart was so full...I was reminded of all of the special people God has placed in my life...in my family here in Moldova.  I am so incredibly grateful.  Here are the things I thought:

Sometimes moments overwhelm me-they literally take my breath away- and I find myself grasping at them wanting to soak up every single detail of the moment before it slips from my clumsy fingertips. The details....the sunset shining in and through someone's smile....the warmth in their eyes as they shoulder a friend's head to allow them to sleep on a long journey...the green rolling hills of Moldova dancing in the background of every moment...dotted with earth so rich and dark....special smiles that I am beginning to decipher or the way they use their eyes to communicate so much...sweet eyelids slowly blinking to let me know the answer is a definite yes to the question "do you want chocolate?"

Time stand still-please don't let me rush through another day- let me notice the tiny scars on beloved hands and remember the stories that brought them there...let me look at the radiant faces and hands stained red with cherry juices from the hundreds of cherries they have lovingly pitted to store up for the winter.  

Let me remember every little hand (or bigger hand) as it reaches for mine and gently entwines fingers in a show of supreme love and acceptance.  

Let me never forget: the honey colored wheat fields gently swaying and dancing and looking like a blanket of feathery gentleness-inviting us all in.  The sunflowers and the privilege of watching them grow taller and stronger and prouder...and watching them daily turn their heads to the sun.  

Oh Lord, etch in my heart brown eyes with chocolaty flecks of mischief mixed with honey and warmth.  Green eyes the color of Moldovan forests right after the rain-proud and reminiscent of all that is lovely. Beaming smiles with dimples so deep to hide more joy. Long eyelashes that softly brush sunkissed cheeks as they sleep on the long and bumpy ride in from the village.

Riding down dusty country roads in an air condition-less van, windows rolled down.  Our hair beating our faces.  Singing bits of all of our favorite Romanian hymns loud and off key--but feeling His divine presence and His love in a real and tangible way.  Laughing....belly laughing....about nothing at all.

Using the two arms that the good Lord gave me to just hold on...to hold on to dry tears, to remove sadness, to pray over broken hearts, to show love....to pray that God would just continue to use this weak and imperfect vessel to show His love and His warmth.  Lord don't let me forget the privilege that it is to dry tears, to celebrate successes of all sizes, to dream for someone else's future.  Lord don't let me stop being thankful for the parents who gave life to all of these beautiful faces around me.  

I never want to forget conspiratorial sharing of secret stashes of Reese's.  Sweating in a hot little kitchen while the strawberry cake or muffins of whatever delicious baked good we have attempted cooks and fills the house with its delightful aroma and promises of goodness to come.

Lord...open my eyes to the here and now.  The last few months in Moldova have been busy and tough...but God reminded me of all of the sweetness in the midst of hard times.

Today I began a short Bible Study series on RightNow Media by Jen Hatmaker.  It is called Pulling the Thread.  As part of the study, I read the verse "To whom much is given, much is expected..."
For the first time EVER I realized it isn't just about money and physical, tangible resources...to whom much love is given...much love will be expected....even when someone doesn't seem lovable...much love will be expected...to whom much wisdom is given....much wisdom will be needed....demanded....to whom much patience is given...God will provide plenty of opportunities to practice it.

 I am praying that God uses the gifts and talents and resources He has given us...that He uses us up to the last drop.  It is tiring when God expects us to give back the talents and passions He gave us....but I want to live my life knowing that I have not withheld the gifts He gave me....that I have not withheld love or patience from any single person.  I know I will fail miserably at this most days....But, I am praying this for all of it....That God will provide us with opportunities to use what we have an excess of...that He will want us to pour out our gifts and resources on others.  I pray that we will pour all that we have out on His children without fear....fear of failure, fear of condemnation, fear of broken relationships....fear of the unknown.  YOU HAVE GIVEN US EXCESS LORD-HELP US USE IT FOR YOUR GLORY!!!!

This last week, at our home church in Alabama, there was a Casting Crowns concert.  My Facebook feed was dotted with posts from the concert.  Many of them included a particular song..."Thrive".  I realized that I had been listening to it a lot too....but Saturday I decided to really listen to it-Not just sing words out in to the air....but to let the lyrics penetrate my heart.   And they did just that.
 Every Sunday at ten, we have a special prayer time before the service.  We take prayer requests, we pray for our church, we pray for each other and we just stand together and hand it all over to God and say-Here God.  We want you to have these.  We would rather put all these requests and hopes and fears in your hands than any where else.  It never fails, every Sunday, I rush over and struggle to get my head and heart in the right place.....and then God moves in.  He ALWAYS meets me where I am.  But, every Sunday, with heads bowed...in a dark and quiet church....holding hands with my Moldovan family....I feel Him in the most tangible way....when I am calling out to Him to pour His spirit out on our church....He does just that....He pours it out....and I FEEL IT!  When I cry out to Him in authenticity right where I am....He is there.  He knows when my heart and my spirit are genuinely seeking Him.  Friends, I wish I could bottle up that feeling and ship it to you...I would send it along with a postcard from Moldova....and you would open it up and be flooded with His love and you would want to stay in that moment forever.  Ahh....when you are truly aware of His love being poured out on you...it is good stuff.  It pushes me beyond just living..just surviving.
  This Sunday I was responsible for leading our service (just MCing).  I had spent the previous day listening to Thrive and I couldn't shake it and felt like I needed to share it with our church....a church full of young people longing to know Him more.  I decided I MUST share the lyrics to the song.  Here they are in English (And Romanian):