Archive for April 2014

Uncomfortable

Monday, April 28, 2014

I love helping people.  Ya know? It feels so good to hold a door for someone, to take dinner to someone (even if I just picked it up at Zoe's) or carry a burden for someone.  Brian is that way too.  He is at his finest when he is serving others.  Doing things for others just feels so natural.  Its this warm and wonderful niche that God made for us.  Interestingly enough....it is incredibly difficult and uncomfortable for us(Team Jones) to allow someone else to serve us.  It just feels weird.  I don't even feel right when people want to bring food to my house just for fun.  My issue with this must be pride related. I can remember when my Grandfather passed away and my family had a very rough week with transitioning my grandmother into a nursing home and grieving and everything that happens with the loss of a loved one.  Two of my dearest friends brought me food....because....well they knew me and they knew that even though I was smiling that I was literally exhausted.  It was LITERALLY the one time in my life that I felt being served was acceptable.  I felt broken and weary...and well...I needed someone to stand in the gap for me....to nourish me-not just physically -with a yummy meal...but emotionally....with support....the sight of foil wrapped casseroles was like a balm to my heart. 
It should't take grief to break down my pride.  I want to be that broken and open and allow others to pour their love in to me...and not be prideful and say...I can do this.  I am not 100% sure why I have always had an "I can do it myself" kind of attitude (I blame my favorite book as a child- Sesame Street's "I can do it myself")...but I think of the thousands of times that I have blocked the servant hearts of others because I was proud or uncomfortable.  I  know that God is seeking to change that about me (and Brian).  With all that is going on in our lives, we are having to allow others to serve us....if we are to accomplish all that we need to accomplish before our big move....we have to do what is uncomfortable...we have to not only allow people to help us....but (gasp).....we must ask for help.  That is the scariest thing about our upcoming move.  Following God's call on our life isn't scary.  It is necessary....its like air or water...we need to follow His call to live.  Allowing other people to help us follow the call....well, that is just where God is bending and stretching and stretching and bending us....and I know it will be good.  I know God has it all under control.  But, that doesn't mean that it isn't uncomfortable.  Pray for me to just take this pride off.  I cannot do it myself.  I need HIM every moment of every day...and I need to allow Him to use other people to see His plan for my life come to fruition!

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Lyrics to Live By

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Things are changing in our life ever so quickly.  Really.  I mean it is crazy.  At any other point in our faith journey, Brian and I would not have been able to make it through the day to day with the amount of uncertainty that lies ahead of us.  But, right in this moment, we both feel more calm about our future than we ever have....and we have NO IDEA what it holds or should hold.  In case you don't know, the ONLY way we are peaceful about the future is because we know WHO holds it.  Brian said it best (recently in an article our church did about our love for Moldova-You can read it here.)  What he said was, he (Brian) first went to Moldova to protect me (if protecting people and keeping them safe was a love language-it would be his y'all-seriously)....but somewhere along the way he realized...he wasn't the one protecting me....HE was.  The Great I am...the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.  When you realize, truly understand in the depths of your soul, who holds the future....the future seems to not be quite as scary as it once was.  I'm not saying all fear is gone...Im saying the fear doesn't cripple you...Knowing Who holds the future means that you know WHO to call on when things get crazy...when the waters are rising.....Anyway, I say all that to lead into a song.  I am sure you have heard it.  They play it on K-LOVE and WAYFM and all the cool Christian stations.  This song has been in my heart for almost a year now.  Of course, the first time I truly listened to the song was in Moldova....now every single time I hear it...I "hear" it being sung in heartfelt worship with beautiful Moldovan accents....what a beautiful way God lets me connect with my family and friends in Moldova...Now this song ALWAYS brings Moldova to mind for both of us-for so many reasons.  The song is "Oceans" by Hillsong United.  You can listen to it here.  Let me tell you what the lyrics mean to us...and how God is using this song to offer us peace for our journey...God uses this song to calm us and confirm us.  This song washes over us....like peaceful waves....and it helps us truly focus on resting in His embrace and finding Him in the chaos and the storms of life.  He is calling us to places that are unknown, where we may fail miserably...but we know He is there....waiting for us to step out of the boat.      Listen to it...but truly read the words...these are lyrics to live by:)


You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown, where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep, my faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours, and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed, and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours, and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours, and You are mine
I am Yours, and You are mine

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