Party of 18

Sunday, September 27, 2015


Parenting is not for the faint of heart.  Parenting teenagers is not for the weary of mind.  You have to be tough and smart.   I applaud all of you who have been doing this work-this joy giving, heart wrenching, frustrating, emotionally driven, life breathing, hilariously wonderful thing called parenting.  I'm new to it, so I am sure some day I will look back and laugh at my naivety and I am sure you parenting veterans will find flaw...but bear with me:)

Brian and I are now experiencing parenthood for the first time....in a way that is quite different than anything we ever expected. It is not your conventional "family structure" -but our family is ours just the same.  We are responsible for the love and care every single day....and they outnumber us....and they are all teenage girls....and they all speak a language/culture that is not our first language. Its real, y'all.  There are always attitudes, tears, perceived injustices, urgent needs that must be met...and there are always hugs to give and receive, encouragements to share, special notes or surprises, lessons to teach and learn- A parent's job never ends. 

I am going to be real with you all....even in the moments where I feel at the craziest end of my rope...I love it.  Even when I secretly want to hide out for just a moment of peace...I would not change one thing about my temperamental little family here.  We are a family...a party of 18.  Do you know if there are any really good books about parenting 18 teenage girls...all at the same time?  Perhaps I should contact that famous TV family that keeps on counting.  Maybe they could offer wisdom.

Yeah.  So parenting in our home can sometimes be a little tough.  But I truly believe that God equips the called and He has been showing up everyday and giving us the tools we need.  Have we mastered parenting in just a few short months?  Um.  NO!  We are daily praying- DEAR JESUS PLEASE OH PLEASE SHOW US WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO DO THIS ALL YOUR WAY. Some days-I think...God, we totally rocked that...like I just parented like someone who has been a parent many many years!!!  When I hear myself offering wisdom that does not sound like anything my peabrain could find...I say...THANK YOU JESUS FOR THAT....and I remember that anything good in me, is NOT Kathryn.  It is God. 

So-like I said- parenting is new to us.  I like to try to use all that I learned in my three educational degrees...but theory and practice are often very different....all those times I thought..."when I have children, I won't_____" Have been thrown out the door!  Picking battles is my new skill...ok...so I haven't mastered it yet...but I'm working on it.  There are always those who love to challenge rules or decisions...multiply that times Moldova.  Seriously-Moldovans have a tendency towards rule bending-even our youth pastor told me that. Every rule has a way around it here.  And my 16 lovelies are very fond of sharing their opinion on what things we need to improve...or how I should discipline other girls.  Its loads of fun...and super tiring. 

This week we had a moment that parents fear.  We had a past curfew, non-caller, unable to locate situation.  My heart was beating out of my chest and I was praying angels and hedges and pretty much just saying words that made no sense to me -but God knew....I was so worried that our dear one was somewhere hurt or alone or just feeling alone.  My whole being ached.  I was full of fear...but I knew that I need not be -because God had her in the palm of His hands.  Ten minutes felt like ten years...but, thankfully, we found our dear one (I will spare you all the details).  When I laid eyes on her precious face, I just burst into tears and held her so tight....and told her "I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH!! I have been praying so hard for you...I love you. I love you. I love you"  I know that Brian and I will make mistakes in this.  I know we will have more scary moments.  I know I will fail miserably some most days...but I want to always always depend on Him...the good, good father to get me through it.  This new role of ours is teaching sooo much about God as father-the perfect parent.  Brian and I love these girls.  They are our family.  I won't say that we love them like they were are own.  They are our family.(PERIOD!).  I just wanted to let you in on our little secret.  Our family is growing...The two have now become 18 (really there are 18 more girls next door who are ours as well...but I just wanted to tell you about the ones who are "under my roof"...yep I have used the phrase as long as you are "under my roof".  Parenting skills level-novice)

Guys.  I would love your continued prayer in this journey.  Life in Moldova has not been easy...but lives worth living rarely are.  Pray that we can walk every step of this out with Him.  That our Good Father will guide our every step and show us both how to love His children and How to grow them stronger in Him. 

All you parents.  (Especially the three of you who actually read my blog-mom, Courtney, and Mandy).  I salute you and all the self doubt, joy, fear, frustration, beauty, and amazing love of God that you have all experienced so far in your path of parenting.  Thank you for being examples for me...and for also keeping me a bit sane. 

6 Comments »

6 Responses to “Party of 18”

  1. I have not been a parent of teenagers for many years....but I do remember everything you spoke of....rarely you....but still lived through. This post brought back many feelings of raising children I chose to love and did not birth. I know what you mean about past curfews....and it is more current.....I remember the fear of mom and dad's little adventure. Code Silver. Even as the child worrying about the parent it was horrifying and yet....totally in God's hands because I could not do a thing about it on my own. I will pray for guidance and wisdom for this precious party of 18. I love you both....and have great faith that with God by your sides....you will rock this. Excuse my ramblings....it is early morning and I am still on groggy mode.

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  2. I am raising teenagers who speak English...mostly. Sometimes our languages don't interface very well because we are on different pages. In the end there is love. Love that goes both ways. It look different some days but it is love. God is at the center of it all. I love what you're doing in Moldova. Yes it is exhausting, but you are doing wonderful work with all those girls...wow!! Love to you and Brian and God give you strength to keep going!!

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  3. I am raising teenagers who speak English...mostly. Sometimes our languages don't interface very well because we are on different pages. In the end there is love. Love that goes both ways. It look different some days but it is love. God is at the center of it all. I love what you're doing in Moldova. Yes it is exhausting, but you are doing wonderful work with all those girls...wow!! Love to you and Brian and God give you strength to keep going!!

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  4. Hey friend. Praying for you all! When you guys make it to Alabama, let me know your schedule. I am going to make time for a visit, but I want to make sure you are available. Anderson turns FIVE Saturday. Can't even believe it! Hope to see you soon. Love you!

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  5. Sweet friend - I know you and Brian are ROCKING this parenting thing! God is a good, good father that will guide you and give you a little more of His wisdom each day. That is the only way a parent makes it through any day! All of these new experiences will refine you and bring glory to Him. What a blessing that will draw you closer to each other and to Jesus!

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  6. I have three fabulous teenage girls myself. What I've learned is that when your default emotion/reaction is love & when you 'don't always like what they do but always LOVE them' then they will respect you & at least consider your advice. Teenagers need to know they are allowed some choices/latitude & that you trust them to make wise decisions (but are there to help them-not punish-even when they do not). Love is the glue of the relationship and both sides will be blessed by living it. You sound like you've figured out that great wisdom. The struggles will be teaching moments and experiences that bring you all closer together and closer to God. Romans 8:28 God is working all things(good & bad) together for the good for those who Love him. God Bless your work!

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