Today is one of our girl's birthday.  I have only known her four years. FOUR YEARS and yet my heart feels like it has been longer.  I never knew her when she was a child. I didn't carry her for nine months under my heart and labor for her to make her beautiful entrance into this world.  And yet....last night as I hugged her close, my heart was certain that she had always been mine.  When I kissed her forehead goodnight....I felt like a rush of memories from her childhood flooded over me....even though I was not a part of them.


   When I look around at my beautiful dear ones, I find it so mind-boggling to believe that they haven't always been ours.  Perhaps God planted these seeds in our hearts a long time ago.  I never knew that 'other people's children' would become my own children.  I ache to know what their little lives were like first-hand.  I ache to know what the first drawing they made for a special care giver looked like-how their little chubby hands gripped thick crayons.  I ache to know how they were celebrated and to make up for times they were treated like they were less than a miracle.  That is what each of these girls are to me...miracles.  It is a miracle that God brought them through so many hard things...and that He chose Brian and I to love them (even when it isnt easy and we are tired and frustrated).


  I look around at our girls and I feel like I know them like the back of my hand.  I know the stories of each scar, even if I wasn't present when it happened.  I know which faces mean they are tired and angry....and which faces mean they are open for adventure and joy.  I know when they feel truly special...and I know when I have failed at it.  Today on this birthday....I feel so overwhelmed with emotion.  All of these girls are going to leave me...every year that is the goal of our house...but I pray that they all know that they will never ever leave my heart.