Rainy day courage

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

It is almost eight o'clock in the evening here.  Although it has been raining this evening, it is still bright out.  The hillside out our window is beautiful and gray and misty.  When I open the window, the smell of rain and chamomile blow in.  It is so peaceful.  Over the last few days we have been so busy so I am just soaking up this moment of peace and quiet.  I am sure in a moment I will hear a knock at our door and some sweet girl will want to play a game.  So, while I have the time, I want to catch you all up. 

Brian and I have both driven in Moldova now, its been short distances...but we are proud.  Today I drove in the rain and remembered the path to our deposit.  I was very proud of myself as were the two sweet girls we had with us.  The rain storm today came up rather quickly but it was a welcome relief from the heat.  The last few days have been the hottest this summer.  Sunday was a squelcher, so on Monday we went to the Metro (discount club similar to but also very different from Sams).  We purchased 18 fans for the three houses...one for every bedroom.  The girls  and guys were so excited.  We bought ourselves a fan for our future home as well.  Speaking of future homes, we may be moving into our permanent residence some time in the next two weeks and we are so very excited.

This Sunday, I was asked to share a word of encouragement for the church.  The topic was courage.  Y'all, that is NOT a word I would use to describe myself.  I am not fearful...but I also don't think I am courageous.  I felt rather ill equipped to discuss the topic.  But then I read the passages from Esther that would be the topic of the sermon and it made me think.  Sometimes courage is acting even when you are scared...or nervous...or unsure.  I used the example of a recent zip linning "adventure" Brian and I went on.  Brian and our friend, Kimmie enjoyed the zip lines tremendously.  They loved every minute....and I thought I would.  But, apparently I am afraid of heights...more specifically I am afraid of hanging from a line high above the ground.  It was the first time I have ever truly felt fear of something.    It was terrifying for me...jelly legs...heart racing...stone in the pit of my stomach terrifying.  At the very last zip line (which was also 80 ft. in the air), my husband and friend encouraged me to climb up with them.  I did.  I got to the top...and I felt paralyzed with fear.  I was on all fours on a platform 80 feet up in the air.  I wanted to just get in the fetal position and make it all go away.  But, I knew that ignoring the problem was not an option at all.  I HAD to act to move on from the fear....and that act took courage.  I had to step off an 80 foot platform and trust that I would live to tell you this story.  Courage is like that....it isn't lacking fear...it is acting in spite of fear.  I used the passage in Mark 6 when Jesus is on the land praying and he looks out on the water and sees the disciples in the middle of a treacherous storm.  He can see their fear.  He can feel it even from far away.  He then goes to them, and as soon as he is near...their fear is gone and the storm is calmed.  He is the one who gives us courage.  When we cling to Him, He helps calm our storms and our hearts.    He helps us move through our fears of failure or heights or inadequacies or whatever it is.  That was so profound to me....He doesn't say I have to be courageous.   But, He knows that I can be.  As I finished sharing this story, I looked in to the faces of literally the most courageous people I know. Children of God who had the courage to keep on living, even when their family didn't know or care that they existed,.  Sweet girls who have the courage to be different from others because they want what God has planned for them and not what the world has planned.  Young men who have the courage to be passionate about their creator and about serving others even when they live in a ego-centric world.  These kids have the courage to get up every day and face it with grace and strength and patience.  They are courage...they are so much more like Esther than I every will be. 
I am so stinking blessed to be a teensy weensy part of the lives of these dynamic young people.  They are teaching us so much already. 

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