This week it is real.  For the last six months I have felt like I was simply an onlooker to all the changes God is making in our lives.  But this week....it is all so real.  My brain is sleep deprived....my heart is all mixed up....so my apologies if this does not make sense.

We had a time of prayer/time for goodbyes with our friends and family on Thursday night.  We were so incredibly touched by all of the folks who came out to pray with us.  My sweet PKS work friends came out, our nearest and dearest chosen family (our amazing close friends), family, mentors, and just other precious people.  They all came together to come show us love.

I closed my eyes and steadied my heart and tried to tune everything out but the Holy Spirit moving in the room.  He pressed down on my spirit and let me feel the love emanating off of our beloved gathering.  He spoke to me in the whispered "amens" and sniffles.  God has always shown Himself to me in the most beautiful and powerful ways in the people in my life.  I have never felt more aware of His beauty, majesty, and power then when I am looking into the eyes of a dear friend and sharing a special moment without words.  (Or laughing til I cry at a shared memory). Our God is so amazing...If you don't know that then you need to look around you....or come and meet my friends.  (I digress).

Actually, perhaps I am not digressing...perhaps I am just filled with awe at the beauty of our Creator and how incredibly talented He is at making each person such a unique work of art.  It may sound corny...but we all know I am not great at truly conveying overwhelming moments.  I am in love with our Creator...and I love His creation...the world around me....especially my friends.

Speaking of being overwhelming..one of our friends prayed the most beautiful of prayers....I had told her that we were feeling a little overwhelmed....and her prayer was something like this....
       Lord where there is anxiety...OVERWHELM them with your peace
                where there is fear....OVERWHELM them with your presence
                 where there is sadness....OVERWHELM them with joy.

    Do you see how amazing our friends are?  That makes goodbye a whole lot more difficult.  Over the last few days we have said goodbyes...or see you laters....We have all kept it together quite well....Today I just had to have my own little come apart in the closet.  I literally went and locked myself in the closet in the guest bedroom at Brian's parents house and I experienced some emotions....I felt crazy...I felt anxious....I felt sad...I felt out of whack....and then after some sad times....God turned those ashes into beauty....He reminded me of how much He loves me...I need that...He is my heavenly Father and even though the family we chose for ourselves will be here and we will be way over there.....Our Heavenly Father promises He will be with us....that doesn't take all the sad away.....but it provides a warm embrace and a place to shed tears.  He is good all the time.   All the time I tell you!!!